emotional and mental abuse? just walk away

hey guys so its been a while since iv wrote on my blog but anyway so I was dating a guy named matt and I loved him very, very, very much but things got not so good and our relationship came to an end he always thought I cheated on him I never ever did I swore on my life but it still wasn't good enough for him and idk maybe I still love him but I know its not going to work out in the end because we are both broken to broken for a relationship and we need time both to heal after 3 months of true love that came only from my heart I truly did want it to last but I knew It couldn't he made me feel loved and special and like I was a person at first but after I felt like I was trapped in his desperation to be loved I felt like I had to be at his side 24/7 and if I wasn't it seemed like he would guilt trip me into feeling bad for him and for not seeing him. I was lost in search of a reason a reason to stay a reason to go but I always found the reason to stay I stayed because I felt scared he told me he would kill him self if I left him and I never wanted that ever !! so I stayed to keep him alive but what I didn't realize was it was killing me the more I stayed the more I stayed the more excuses I made to stay but I know now that they were excuses made from guilt and it was not a healthy relationship to be in so I had to protect my self from pain and unhealthy mental health and I had to almost re-boot my self and tell my self its not my fault if he chooses to leave this world over my love and so I did it I broke up with him and I feel healthy mentally and emotionally.

And honestly I understand that people don't realize everything they are doing and as me and a few handfuls of my family and friends and others know that me and his relationship was unhealthy and abusive and he doesn't understand mental and emotional abuse and that's what was going on and physical abuse was another story but honestly I don't blame him entirely for the emotional and mental abuse because I could tell he somewhat didn't understand what he was doing wrong but I do blame him for his actions that he could of prevented but didn't.

One day we went out and went to pet land I stole a bunny from there he didn't it was me and I didn't get caught I brought it to his house and he kept him there for a while but it was my responsibility and I bought food and water feeder and a leash and everything for him but then we took a break and he had him and would threaten me by saying he wouldn't give him back and I cried so much cuz I grew a connection with my bunny and I even called him my kid and baby and everything but we patched things up and I would have him one week he would the next and so on but just as I thought our relationship started ripping at the seams the same seams we already patched up and so we promised after the first time that we would still share him if we broke up but we broke up and he wont let me see him or have him back or even share him just like we promised before he broke my heart by doing that but I don't really know maybe I will see him again but for now he has my baby and wont give him back.

sometimes I wonder what real love is or if iv ever really had it because since I was little everyone and I mean everyone let me down and hurt me no one ever stays with me till the end and than sometimes I wonder if I ever will find real love maybe I did have real love but I guess I might never know now ...

we all have a story so tell me yours inbox me and tell me talk to me about your story or what's going on in your life right now that is making you struggle talk to me about anything I'm always hear to message so please inbox me and I will try to help and hope you liked my blog and hope you read my next blog post thx -Abi